Home Sweet Home

I know it's been a few weeks since my last post & I'm sorry for that! But I have great news that explains why...

After a year of searching, going to multiple viewings to multiple places & many applications later we FINALLY found our 3 bedroom home! It felt like it was taking forever to find a big enough home for my fiancee & our two boys. We were staying in a very small 2 bedroom that was getting a little tight for everyone. Especially for my oldest son,Cody,who has been sharing a room with his 5 month old brother. He was definitely needing his own space & we were looking forward to a bigger room of our own as well!

Every application that we put in we would pray over it. I feel in love with so many houses & we had our hearts set on almost each one but nothing was working out like we were hoping. I admit,we did get discouraged,who hasn't at on point while house hunting? But my fiancee continued to pray & had faith that we would find the place we were meant to be when the time was right.

A few months later I stumbled across an as online showing a beautiful & very spacious 3 bedroom home. We set up an appointment for a viewing & when we arrived we were not disappointed! Everything had been replaced,new paint,new carpet & hardwood floors. The rooms were the perfect size for each of us & the space in the bathrooms were AMAZING! David & I decided to give it one more shot at applying for a new house,I meant at that point our mentality was "Why not? What do we got to loose?" After we applied we again prayed over the application & trysted that this was in God's hands. Where ever we were suppose to be that's where God would put us. Within a few days we got a call that everything came back great and they were ready to start paper work for us to move in!!

We were both in total shock. Reality didn't set in until we got the keys to our new house & started packing. Which,btw felt like it took FOREVER to get everything that we needed out.

Now the only issue I have is trying to find out where to put everything in all of the space we have! And also how to decorate which will be in the next blog. We are truly blessed to have this home to raise our boys in & make new memories in. It makes sense to us now why all of these other places we applied for didn't work out. It was so worth it. We couldn't be happier!

How to remove Toxic people from your life...

I love my life. I love how easy it has become,how I wake up looking forward to the day and what it has in store for me or what exciting,fun activity I have planned with the boys. Even those romantic date nights my fiancee & I plan so we can spend time together. Everything,to me,is perfect.

Don't get me wrong,there are days where things get a little complicated but it's nothing that I can't handle. However it wasn't always like this. I had a very poor habit of letting negative,judgmental,jealous,abusive, drama causing people into my life. Why? Because I believed people were who they said they were. Then later I got burned & saw them for who they truly were.

I believe that we never have anyway of truly knowing anyone until it's too late. Which I have found to be one of the best lessons that life has to teach us.It's great to meet & make new friends! but it's also important to recognize an unhealthy relationship weather it be dating,friends or family.


 
What I consider to be an unhealthy relationship with bad vibes include are:
     
                   
Anyone who constantly has negative things to say when something exciting happens to you.

Politely puts you down

Makes you feel  or tells you that your stupid

Makes you feel small,insignificant,unimportant

Makes you feel like your not good enough

Someone who likes to embarrass you by publicly pointing out your flaws

Tries to make you feel guilty for what you have worked hard for & earned

Someone who jealous to the point where they hurt your feelings & don't care

Someone who bullies you mentally,emotionally & physically

Spreading untrue rumors about you to your friends,family,boss,spouse & Co-workers

Being two faced

Causing unwanted drama in your life

Purposely hurting your feelings

Someone who feels zero guilt or remorse for putting you through anything that hurts you emotionally,mentally & physically

Someone who is controlling




 Claim your Happiness!...


If you have or are experiencing anything on the list above  I am very sorry. It sucks but the good news is that you don't have to deal with ANY of these things anymore.

You have every right to eliminate people out of your life for good who make you feel bad about yourself. Who pick on you,who bully you etc. Anyone who is your friend,family or loved one would never want you to feel bad about yourself or the good things that you have gained,worked hard for & have accomplished in your life. They would celebrate & be happy for you! Excited with you! That sounds like it would feel good,right? You can have that.You are deserving to have that. Everyone is. The one thing that I always told myself & other people have told me is that they felt undeserving of anything. That's very toxic thinking which can sadly be placed into your head by jealous,toxic people. Don't believe it & don't believe them. Keep your joy!




You CAN be selfish...

You can be selfish in this aspect of your life. Every once in awhile I will meet new people who seem great at first! We get along,go places together & have a good time. But eventually I start to notice the negative vibes coming in. Then I finally see that persons true colors. When that happens I tell myself

"No,I can't hold on to a friendship like that,I need good,positive vibes,not drama."

After I have made my decision to remove toxic people like that out of my life I move on. I don't even think about that person anymore. It's not worth it to me you know?  You can do that too. There is no shame in doing so & it doesn't make you a bad person. If that person makes you feel bad or does any of the things that are listed above you have any and all rights to keep that bad shit out of your life!




 Reboot & Spend some alone time...

I know there is probably someone reading this who thinks that this part is impossible to do. I can guarantee you that is & it's probably one of the best things that you can do for yourself. You can do this for as long as you like. When I first tried this I gave myself a month. Which turned into two months,then 6 months to a year or more I had become at peace with myself. I felt stronger as a single mother & as a women.I had regained & restored my confidence. It actually helped me get through the passing of my father.

I sat down & made a list of things that I wanted to do,alone,that I enjoyed. Going on a shopping spree,having a spa weekend,going to concerts,meeting up with genuinely,true friends for lunch. I was working hard & I deserved to do the things that I enjoy & still do these things till this day.

Then I made a list of things that I could with my son which was so fun! It brought us closer together.

I also made a list of the things that I didn't want in my life. That list after I read it seemed very selfish & cruel.They were the things,people that were bringing me down and making me miserable. After I read this list suddenly it didn't seem so selfish anymore. I did this for three years,not because that was how long I planned if it for but because it was honestly the happiest that I had been in years. It prepared me for the wonderful life that I have now.   

I hope that what you have read has been helpful in some way.. And if your not ready to try what I tried then that's okay! You will find your own unique way of weeding out bad vibes & toxic people. I hope that your journey will be as peaceful as mine was

Till next time my dear friends <3

Getting back on track...

The Boston Heart Test...


Before my second pregnancy,before I met my fiance & we started this amazing life that we have with our kids,my health was completely out of whack. I made an appointment with my doctor & he suggested that I take The Boston Heart Test. How this test is done is you have your blood drawn & sent to the lab. From there this test breaks down everything & checks it out in your body. The test results do take at least two weeks to come back but I assure it's definitely worth the wait.



The Results...


When I received my results it wasn't exactly the greatest of news. My thyroid levels were through the roof which became an easy fix with medication called Levothyroxine. My Metabolic tests however were far from great. My insulin levels/numbers came back at 38. My doctor diagnosed me as borderline diabetic. This was pretty scary news for me. Both of aunt's on my mothers side were both insulin dependent. The thought of having to take shots everyday or another pill wasn't what I wanted in my life & an immediate change to my diet was the only answer. If I chose not to take on  healthier habits I would be a diabetic by the next year. Since I already had other health issues that I was taking care of preventing this issue was at the top of my to do list.





The Good News...

My doctor told me that I didn't have to worry about going an extreme diet. It could easily be fixed by cutting out all processed foods such as frozen dinners,processed snacks,processed foods,fast foods,cutting out all sugar and substituting Splenda for baking,tea or coffee,etc. My doctor made some very good suggestions that mad the thought of a healthier diet seem less boring. I could have healthy fats such as avocados,I could have chicken,steak with the fat cut off or lean beef,increase my water intake,I could use real butter instead of imitation butters,cooked veggies that were well seasoned, 1% milk which I had no issues with,oatmeal or fat free greek yogurt with any type of fruit that I want which is very filling btw. After discussing these new food possibilities I was more than confident that I was in control and could bring my numbers down.



Exercise is Key with Hypothyroidism...


I was also encouraged to start going to the gym. Even if I just sat on a bicycle for and hour it was good enough to help my get my blood pumping my my body the movement that it needed. Now please keep in mind that this was not something that changed my life within a few months but over a year! Due to having Hypothyroidism it takes a person much longer to lose weight & get in shape than a normal,healthier person would. This should squash the whole "Oh your just saying that because your too lazy" statement that ass holes like to throw out there. I suggest googling "Hypothyroidism" or you can look up Fit Rocker Chick on YouTube who is a thyroid expert as well as fitness expert.

I was going to the gym 4 days per week & spending at least 2 or 3 hours doing my workout routine that was given to me by my personal trainer. Again,I slowly saw improvement & was feeling better than I had been in years! I was addicted in a healthy way!




Hard work equals great Reward...



A year and a half later I went back to my doctor 7 had another Boston Heart Test done. After waiting for two weeks for my results I blew my doctor & his staff away by dropping my insulin levels down from 38 to 14!! I lost inches around my waist,my thighs and my butt. I made it a point at that time to NOT even get on a scale.I felt that for me it would have put more pressure on me & make me feel less accomplished if I didn't loose one or two pounds a week. It worked best for me,obviously & put my mind at ease. I took up meditating which I highly recommend. I didn't take classes but I found an app on Google Play called Calm. I thought why not give it a shot? I really couldn't afford to pay for classes at the time. It has been very helpful for me. It helps me keep my mind centered,focused & I'm not as strung out during the week like I had been.

Also...Wine helps too. Haha!




 Getting back on Track...


So I am now in the process of getting my health back on track as before. After my second pregnancy I started to notices similar issues resurfacing again. One of them being dizzy & tired all of the time after I ate something. I am struggling getting back into my old routine again but I am slowly feeling better. But the good news is that I'm finding all kinds of new recipes to try & even a few vegan dishes that look pretty good! I will be posting my Grocery list as my next post for anyone that may be curious about changing their diet or needs a little inspiration trying to get on track. I will also post my vitamin supplements that I take on a daily basis and where you can purchase them.

Hope to see you back here soon my lovelies!

The Mom Bod

 The Mom Bod

  

With a new baby comes with a new mom bod. Which for me has been like trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube for the past couple of months. Somehow I expected my body to bounce right back & magically be the size that it was before. Also, I had a C-section,my second,not a natural birth which for many women is harder to bounce back from than women who have had a natural birth.

                                                                 Reality settled in

I pulled out everything in my closet. Every cute,small pair of jeans,tank tops,shirts,swimwear etc & started trying to figure out ways to modify them,to make them functional for me so I could wear them again. Adding more buttons to keep my jeans snug & stay up without rolling under my lovely C-section pooch.

Just when I thought I had that fixed the zipper refused to zip  up & stay in place. It made me feel even more desperate & determined to figure out a way to make my jeans fit again. I seriously started to panic. I even tried making maternity jeans because I wanted to save a few bucks.That was a horribly failed DIY by the way & a very bad idea that I don't recommend unless your like a sewing wizard. 

After doing this for at least 4 weeks ( Yeah, 4 weeks!) I sat on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes or what were supposed to be clothes,fabric glue,a small sewing kit & scarp fabric all over the floor & I started to cry. Not because I felt sorry for myself  but because I had all of a sudden became very was scared of  how my new "Mom Bod" looked. I didn't feel like the confident Charlana Jo that I was once before.

                                                                   Finding Support

I needed support.I did have my Fiancee,David, full of love & support with this issue which was more than helpful! You are the best babe! I set out looking into Mom groups on Facebook.When I found the right group for me to join it was a really big eye opener for me. Every mom was going through the exact same thing that I had been through,had the exact same thoughts that I did ( and I thought my thinking was bad,haha nope! They were right there with every other mother.) It was so nice to just be open & talk about what was happening to me as a women. Especially about my new Mom-bod. All of my questions were answered & I received more information about my second c-section & how it effected me than I did about my first one. I totally suggest informing yourself about the aftermaths of C-sections if you have already had one or if you are going to have one soon.

                                                            

This started opening the door to accepting myself the way that I was now & will be for awhile. I can most definitely start paving the road ahead of me & get started on a better diet. I got back on my healthy eating habits & vegan meals again which my body really missed! I also take walks 3 or more days a week with the baby for a few hours a day to give my body the exercise that it needs. 

                                                       Accepting & Embracing my Mom Bod

I accepted that it was okay to look the way that I do now because I did bring a human life into this world,that  I shouldn't be so hard on myself or set high expectations of myself that I can't meet right now. Accepting that didn't mean I was making excuses for myself  or that I was weak for having the body that I have. Even if you haven't had any kids at all.,even before motherhood we compare ourselves to other women from time to time.(That's what most women that I've met have told me they've catched themselves doing.)

                                                                   Finally letting go

At the moment I am confidently & proudly throwing EVERYTHING that I once wore before my pregnancy into a bag to give away to our local thrift stores in hopes that whoever needs to feel beautiful & a good bargain stumbles across what I've given. That it will make them just as happy as it had made me (and fashion defiantly makes me happy!) & put a little pep in their step. Plus this also means I can make a Style board full of new trends that I've really been wanting to try & buy! To me this hasn't become just about clothes,it's become about accepting myself, the new chapter within my life & transitioning into the women that I'm meant to be. Or the short term I use to describe it as'shedding my skin." I've had a lot happen to me over the course of a year & I feel like I'm just now catching up on a few things as well as learning new & exciting things about myself. 

                                                                   

                                                                    You aren't alone!

If your going through this trust me when I say that I'm right there with you! Try your best to not feel so alone because you definitely aren't! Take time out for yourself to hit the reset button and make a few changes mentally,physically & emotionally. Definitely find a good support group online or meetings withing your local community center. Just knowing someone else get's it makes things much easier. Until the next blog,stay zen <3 

Welcome Baby Dean

As the morning of December 3rd,2018 approached my Fiancee,David & I were running on zero sleep due to the excitement of welcoming a new baby into the family. We live an hour or so from the nearest children's hospital & decided it would be a good idea to stay at a hotel the night before so we could be on time the next morning. Plus it gave us the opportunity to spend much needed time together & my fiancee calming me down from the fear that I had of having the baby. ( Thank you babe xo)

 I was scheduled to give birth via Cesarean Section ( C-Section for short ) my second one in ten years! I was diagnosed as a High Risk Pregnancy because of my last pregnancy,I have borderline diabetes & I also have a cardiovascular illness called Buergers Disease (which I will explain what that is in another blog soon.) So you can imagine how high my anxiety was a few days before. My first C-Section with my first Son back in 2009,was an emergency. Due to being preeclamptic, having my labor induced ,being put on magnesium,very high blood pressure which was 100 over 199,an epidural that only numbed half of my side ( that was a bummer.) & carrying the worry of having my son three weeks early with my first pregnancy left a very bad impression on me. 

Throughout the night all I could think about was having a spinal block inserted & how I would be numbed from the waist down. The fear that I wouldn't be able to feel my legs,becoming preeclamptic after I had our son,praying that the baby would be okay & that he would make it through this journey safe from any complications. If your a mom that's had a c-section & you were fearless I tip my hat to you! I was crying like I was going to be executed & told my husband "Thank you for my last meal". Sheesh,talk about hormone overload over here! After laying in a Jacuzzi tub for awhile & settling down my wild imagination, I got into bed,I clinged to David then finally went to sleep for a a couple of hours. 

The next morning we were up & ready to go!....Okay,so maybe my husband was but I wasn't. I was waking around the hotel room slowly gathering up my things, trying to stall as if that was going to make it not happen,wrong! David looked at me,took my hands,pulled me close & held me tight. He prayed for me,put his hands on my face looking into my eyes trying his hardest to reassure me that everything was going to be alright. Deep down I knew he was right (don't tell him I said that though,ha.) & that our baby had to come out. However the process of getting him out still terrified me but I pulled my big girl pants and said to David " Well,let's go have a baby!".

We arrived at the hospital on time,got checked in,put on my ever so fancy looking gown & fancy net cap. David put on his ever so sexy scrubs ( bad time to get turned on but hey, he was looking mighty fine) & we headed back to the operating room. Within two minutes my anxiety kicked into high gear when I saw the operating table,shiny tools & bright lights. I sat down,the nurses prepped me & started to insert the spinal block into my back. It was the most uncomfortable & painful experience that I've ever felt! I could feel the fluid going into every part of my spine. I was in tears & acted (I thought at the time) like the biggest wuss! David was standing in front of me holding me the entire time,I felt embarrassed because this was a side of myself that I'd hope he'd never have to see. Being the strong,sweet,kindhearted & loving man that he is it didn't bother him or make him think less of me,I was grateful for that.

After a minute or so I laid back on the table. My O.B & the nurses quickly getting everything ready to bring our son into this world. Before she started she asked me who my favorite singer was. I told her it was Luke Combs then she played it for me on her phone to help me relax which it did (It's Luke Combs,C'mon! how rad is she?!) I have to brag on my O.B & her staff for a minute. They were more than professional in & about everything that they were doing. She took great care of us the whole time we were there. We were treated more like family than patients which to us was a godsend. Then began the delivery of our baby.

About 45 minutes later I heard our son,Andrew Dean,cry. The O.B shouted with such excitement "The baby's here!" along with the rest of the nurse's and staff. It was like a birthday party! 

I looked at David with tears & excitement "We have a baby!?!" He replied "Yeah! We have a baby! We did it!" I told David to go see Dean ( I love the name Dean & call him by that more.) as they finished putting me back together & sewed me up. 

                                              Welcome to the Family little Andrew Dean!

 

Andrew Dean was born a healthy baby boy! 8lbs 6 oz at 18 1/2 inches! David & I never thought that we'd be parents again but we fully believe that God chose us to be Dean's parents for a reason. We couldn't be,happier,more blessed & honored. After surgery we were taken to our room so I could recover with Dean & David My phone was going off like crazy! Grandparents were on their way to visit us,My oldest son,Cody was on his way to see his new baby brother,it was definitely a long,busy & exhausting day but it is one of my most favorite days by far. We love you little man. As for recovery,the numbing from the spinal block was slowly wearing off which was a HUGE load off of my mind.I wasn't in as much pain as I expected but I did become preeclamptic. I was given blood thinners,blood pressure medication & closely monitored until they released us. I was also sent home with shots to take twice a day for preeclampsia. I didn't mind at all,Dean was worth it.

                                                                     WE DID IT!

     

                                                                       Big Brother!